Yes, I Loved Her!!!

“I’ll be your friend till the last leaf falls,” she declares every once in a while as I look at her with hopeful, yet sorry eyes!

She became a part of my life sometime around in July 2004, when I was in my third year doing my History majors in Xavier’s. Very rarely has she not been with me ever since. She is easily the one whom I’ve heard the most from and also with whom I’ve spoken the most. I doubt if my mom has interacted with me as much as she has!

Everyone keeps telling me she is one of the most dependable around! Who would know it better than me! I use the word dependable cause I can’t find a better word in the English vocabulary. She has been through the best and worst of the times. She has heard my cribbing! She has helped me in consoling others. She has seen me cry. She has heard me laugh out loud! She has seen me jump for joy. She has seen me fall. She has seen me getting royally bored, be it at some boring lectures or at my workplace! She gave me company when I was pulling someone’s leg! She brought a lot of joy to my life and also passed on my joy to a lot of my dear friends.

She was with me when I became a graduate. She was with me when I completed my journalism. She was with me when I became a journalist! She was with me when I changed companies! She was with me through the disaster of July 26th, 2005, when I got stuck in college/town for two and half days! She got drenched in the rain too! She made sure I informed my folks back home how I was and where I was!

But I must admit, I’ve hurt her a lot. Many a time, I’ve taken her for granted. Yet, she never left me! Once in a while, albeit very rarely, she gave me the cold shoulder and just wouldn’t let me talk or wouldn’t talk to me either! I shifted my loyalty when she refused to cooperate. But then, my new ‘loyalty’ ditched me after just a month! But she was ever willing to accept me back and now we are back!

She isn’t too well now! She won’t let me talk for too long and she doesn’t talk much either unless she is constantly kept ‘in observation’! I am afraid I am losing her!

I loved her and I still do and I hate to be rude but I need to look for better options! I know she won’t survive and be with me forever and I can’t stay committed to her! I got to think about my own future and for my own good! I got to be selfish and look for a better piece to replace my good old Nokia 3315.