A dinner @ Rs. 6,600...

Overheard that a farewell dinner of a top-notch yesterday (October 15, 2009) cost around Rs. 6,600. I don’t think I need to add that this price was for each person!

Consider this: In India, a family of four can survive a whole month on approximately $150, which comes to around Rs. 6750. This is true to close to 50% of the population in our country! As per the World Bank, about 42% of Indians are in the below poverty line (BPL) zone (surviving on less than $ 1.25 per day).

At around the same time that folks in the party were enjoying the expensive meal, I couldn’t help, but notice a family of three on the footpath on my way back to CST Station. A little kid, oblivious the world around and the condition his family is in, as old as my nephew Jonty, trying to reach to something unknown; a lady sitting still, looking at the third member of her family – her husband, who was trying to hide/cover his face supposedly crying! The scene, still as fresh as a daisy in my mind, hit me hard… Really hard!!!

Ironically, the (note the singular) dinner (@ Rs. 6,600 per person) was hosted just a day before UN’s World Food Day (October 16, 2009), celebrated this year with the theme – ‘Achieving food security in times of crisis.’

Voted!

Voted, not after a few hiccups though, which ain’t surprising if you are a voter in India. Firstly, couldn’t dig out my name from the ‘online’ voters list. Secondly, I was told the Sr. No. that I had used for voting during the General Elections would do.

On reaching the booth, I was told that my vote has already been cast. Double-checking revealed that the name next to the Sr. No. belonged to a certain Shetty ! Had to wait for a few minutes till the Poll Officer dug out the name - Virgis Blissin Thom! Yes, that’s how I am recognized in the official electoral list.

Finally, the finger was inked and the button was pressed – my fifth such experience!

For the record, all candidates that I’ve cast my vote so far have lost… It won’t be any different this time around too! :D

Obama wins Nobel Peace Prize

Ridiculous!

And here are some facts that you might have read or heard:

• Date of Barack Obama’s swearing-in ceremony: 19 January, 2009
• Last date for nominations for the Nobel Prize: 1 February, 2009
• Nobel Committee’s statement that accompanied the award, “Obama has as President (in 11 days?) created new climate in international politics.”

Do I need to say more?

And FYI, Mahatma Gandhi has never been awarded the Nobel Prize for Peace!

Sign Boards in Mumbai

Just couldn’t help but notice and re-notice some of the boards I’ve seen in recent and not-so-recent past:

Seen under the FoB in Grant Road Railway Station:
“Please do not urinate under the bridge. You may meet accident.”
- Well, hello Mr. Accident. How do you do? Long time no pee.. ah.. I mean no see heh?

In a board outside a railway institute next to Mumbai Central station. The words were painted in a semi-circular format in this order:
“Mumbai
Central Railway Training Institute,
Western Railway”
- We can’t make up our mind! Central or Western?

Outside a building not too far away from CST Railway Station, under which we stroll every afternoon after lunch:
“Warning: Old and Dilapidated building. Please do not walk under this building. We will not be responsible for any loss or damage to life and property.
Signed,
Life Insurance Corporation of India”
- Makes me feel so good that I am insured with the same guys!

About three years back at the CST Subway walking back from Xavier’s with a couple of friends:
“Pravins Thick Shake: Rs. 10/-“
- Ahem! No comments!

On a board hung outside Dombivli Platform No.2’s railway canteen:
“Free Drinking Water
Please Pay First”
- Hmm. Can you please pass my bill for the free drinking water?

At the subway in CST:
“Spiting persons will be fined!” [Note the extra ‘t’ missing, or is it?)
- Yes Please. They can be quite annoying!

Seen and heard at many stations across Mumbai:
In Marathi: “Krupaya Railway Line olaandu (pronounced ‘o-llaan-du’) nakaa”
- Translated to please do not cross the railway tracks. This finds entry in this list cause’ my colleague Kapil gets tickled by the word ‘olaandu’ and re-phrases the sentence as “Krupaaya Railway Line Orlando Bloom nakaa!”

At the back of a rickshaw in Dombivli, apparently quoting Dr. B Ambedkar:
“I am an Indian first
And at last, I am an Indian!”
- Ok. I was an Indian to begin with but finally I became an Indian!

And finally, after being critical of all the sign-boards in Mumbai, the blogger saves his writing in an MS Word file and names it - ‘sing boards_blog.doc’.

Back to blogging... again!!!

Back blogging again (losing count on this statement now!) and I must say, a lot has happened over the weeks that I’ve been away having a writer’s block with a combination of the anti-busy ant syndrome (don’t ask me what that meant!).

Well, for starters:
In Cricket (as usual for me), Pakistan actually won the ICC World T20 2009.
- Refer to the last post and Fan B’s prediction proved true! Well done sir, however furthest the reasoning had to do with cricket!

Moving on:
Mr. Jinnah becomes party to yet another ‘split!’ BJP is in a mess (for want of a better word).
Jaswant Singh (who is apparently the uncle of an old classmate) will soon find his bank account heavier as his book becomes a best-seller.
L. K. Advani does not have retirement in his dictionary and Rajnath Singh only has “you’re fired” in his’!

The Poms have the Ashes back!
Ricky Ponting is looking as lost as the BJP. Aussies now knows how it is to be at a lower altitude of test rankings.
England once again has started thinking they can become the best side in the world a la India!
Freddie Flintoff finally says good-bye before his knees bid him farewell!

Indian Cricketers WADA – poda!
Non-mallus, ‘poda’ is a slangy way of saying ‘get lost’ and ‘wada’ is a casual way of saying “come here”!

Michael Jackson dead/murdered/committed suicide/whatever!
Resting in Pieces!

Himesh can now sing in two different voices (voices?)!
One would be the usual wolf-voice. The new one would be the werewolf-voice!

SRK was detained/arrested/questioned at New York airport and APJ was frisked by Continental!
Mr. Obama, you better watch out on your visit to India! Indians are hungry… ahem… angry for disrespecting our national ‘icons’!

India became the No. 1 ranked side in ODIs
So what if it was for only a day? So what if we got annihilated by the Lankans immediately afterwards?

And finally, I completed three years in my current organisation!
Great achievement considering that I was ready to pack my bags in three months. Also, explains why I gained 14 KGs in the last 12 months and now have eight-packs all rolled into one big round sack!

Overheard: A local train chat!

Overheard this conversation in the train today:
Fan A: Arre, Sri Lanka Pakistan final mein aayega! Aur dekh, Sri Lanka jeetega dekh! (Sri Lanka & Pakistan will play the finals and Sri Lanka will come out victorious)
Fan B: Nahi! Pakistan maarega yeh baar! (Nope! It will be Pakistan this time.)
Fan A: Abbey, Sri Lanka dekh LTTE ko udaa diya. Abhi Pakistan ko udaayega (Sri Lanka has just finished LTTE. Now it’s Pakistan’s turn)
Fan B: Arrey Pakistan poora duniya ko udaa raha hain! Phir Sri Lanka kaunsi badee baath hain! (Pakistan is finishing off the entire world, then what can Sri Lanka do to them!)

Of DLF Maximums and Citi Moments of Success!!!

While KKR might see some sponsors pulling out of the team for IPL 3 after their abysmal performance in South Africa, the IPL itself might see a lot of new corporates in their kitty.

This commercialisation of cricket has made a lot of “early” cricket enthusiasts lament about using brand-names as adjectives before a six, a four or a wicket! So, every time Robin Jackman shouts out “It’s another D L & F” for a Yusuf Pathan six and Ravi Shastri says, “Another Citi Moment of success” for a Suresh Raina blinder, the purists roll in their graves. I, for one, would like to call myself a purist, but a purist who enjoys cricket in all forms! And this blogger sees no harm in calling out these brand names! For one, calling a six, “A DLF Maximum” is much better than calling it a “Haywards 5000 Club Soda Solid Six!” Most of the little who read my blog wouldn’t have a clue of the latter! Well, that’s what the commentators “barked” in ICL! And by the time the Hindi commentators finished saying that long ‘paragraph’, you could be watching another “Haywards 5000 Club Soda Solid Sixer!”

IPL is all about cricketainment – cricket married with entertainment. And any fool would be able to tell you that neither cricket nor entertainment can survive without the corporate money! And there’s little doubt IPL entertains! And in a big way! Many call it a circus! For IPL followers like me, it’s a festival. Time to unwind after a hard day at work! And for a multi-mega buck event like IPL to survive, you need the DLFs, the Citis, the Vodafones, the Hero Hondas and the Fly Kingfishers! Call it an unholy marriage or a marriage borne out of compromise and compulsion, it’s, however, still a successful marriage, the gross product of which is a 40-odd day carnival!

Perhaps the only complain I’d have about IPL is over focus of television cameras (and commentators at times) on Lalit Modi! Surely a case of “you got to please your boss” to stay where you are (in this case, South Africa). But what’s a carnival without a few fingers being pointed? “Purists” would do well to bear with some commercialisation and instead focus on some good cricket being played at the IPL! So, just enjoy those DLF Maximums and those Citi Moments of Success!

Jersey "Blues" in IPL - 2!!!

A few surprises, a few shocks and a few expected results! That’s IPL’s second edition so far! While I am not surprised at the huge turn-out despite it being held in South Africa, I must admit I didn’t expect teams to get bundled out to scores of around 100 and below!

The seven and a half minute strategy break apart, one other thing that has put me off in IPL’s second edition is the choice of colours for team jerseys! Check this out:

• Mumbai Indians – A shade of sky blue
• Rajasthan Royals – Dark blue
• Delhi Daredevils – Prominently blue with red along the sides
• Deccan Chargers – Another shade of dark blue
• Royal Challengers Bangalore – Shade of red
• Kings XI Punjab – Another Shade of Red with white at the sides
• Chennai Superkings – Yellow
• Kolkata Knight Riders – Black and golden

No issues with the last two teams as they definitely stand out! But some serious thought need to be given by the teams if they have to maintain some exclusiveness in their jersey colours! While MI and RR already had blue last season, it’s just baffling that DD and DC opted to change to blue! Surely, blue mustn’t have been the only colour in their designing boards! The Daredevils now look like the English cricket team!

Can we have more creativity guys? Or at least a better colour sense? No way would I want to see a jhataak and dinchaak colours, but take lessons from SRK’s KKRs!

My friend Carlo is already capturing moments at Port Elizabeth that he will surely like to show his grandchildren a few years down the line! Carlo, I hope you get to see one of those “I was there” moments! My next few posts will include the view through his lenses! Beware, some of them would make you jealous! It already has in my case!

IPL is here: My Loyalties

Recently, the firm that I work for (by now, you all know which one) became the ‘Tech-Partner’ for the Rajasthan Royals squad in IPL. Must say, quite an impressive term is this ‘technology partner’! Ok, now without really going beyond the obvious (interpretation), the loyalties of some of the people in my firm have slowly shifted towards the Shane Warne-led side. No issues whatsoever! Everyone’s got their own choices! So, which team will be rooting for this IPL season?

Without the blink of an eye – Mumbai Indians! Reasons? Pretty Simple!

1. It’s my city and I am a Mumbaikar!
2. Sachin Tendulkar, the opening batsman alongside Sanath Jayasurya
3. Sachin Tendulkar, the captain in the shortest version
4. Sachin Tendulkar, the bowler who can bowl almost everything!
5. Sachin Tendulkar, the bubbly fielder!

These of course are reasons other than the fact that I love the involvement of Shaun Pollock (lovingly called Polly kakka by the MI paltan last year) and Jonty Rhodes (My nephew is named after him)! There’s no way that I would think twice before supporting MIs!

And where does this leave Rajashtan Royals in my scheme of things? Not in the top 3 for sure! Kolkata Knight Riders (despite the confusing multiple captain theory by Prof. John) and Bangalore Royal Challengers (despite it being owned by a ‘what’s that guys name?’) would be rooted for as well by this mallu. And now with one of my favourites Mohammad Kaif being shown the door by RR, they may not even be in my top seven! My company’s loyalist may not like this blog post at all! All I can say is I am waiting for Saturday! Fourty-odd days of fun! Go Indians go!!!

Right now, if you ask me who I am most jealous of. I’d say my good ol’ buddy Carlo Bugger! He’d be around in South Africa during the IPL! Carlo my friend! Have a blast at Port Elizabeth! Guys, check this blog for more as Carlo will be sending some of the pics he took at the IPL! Would be fun to watch them “from a viewer’s perspective!”

Mission Impossible?

Place: 5 Spice, Fort, Mumbai

Date: March 13, 2009

Time: 1:55 PM

Number of People: 6

Food: Dessert - a 5 Spice Special!

Mission Impossible

Mission Accomplished!

A Confession: I ate about 70% of that! Was challenged to eat the entire thing, but the others around me couldn't resist and had to dig in!

Happy Eating! But watch that water falling from between your two sets of 16!!!

Why do women talk so much?

I tried to ask MasterFind. Here's what I got (Click the image to view it properly yaar):

The mystery continues...