A Mumbai that is India

As a school going kid, one essay that I remember writing was ‘My neighbours.’ Although there was nothing truthful about that essay (and it wasn’t even ‘original) as I brought in flavours of nationalism to it. In the essay (if I remember correctly), my neighbors was a Southie who spoke too much, a Northie who ate too much, an Eastie and a Westie who am sure did something too which I don’t recollect.

This post may sound jingoistic, but then just couldn’t help but notice the diverse nature of India while on my way to office in the local train, bringing back memories of that not-so-original essay that I’d written about a decade and a half back! 

Sitting next to me was a Sardarji with a pagadi and two smart-phones, checking out all the news and events in the news websites on both the phones. 

In front of me, towards the right was a gentleman with a skull cap and a smart kurta-pyjama, also checking out his phone! 

Facing me was a guy who had the last traces of paan in his mouth with his eyes closed reciting some mantras (I guess!).

And me, a Christian, saying a word of prayer, as the train reached close to my destination – renamed (around the time I wrote the essay) after a famous Maratha King from a famous English Queen!

That’s Mumbai. That’s India. At the end of the day, it’s all about existence (read co-existence) and earning one’s bread. Not about any nonsense like ‘spirit of Mumbai.’

A Bedtime story that will wake your kid!

Here's a bedtime story that I told a friend who claimed to have lost sleep after hearing this. So, read this at your own risk! Don't blame me later! And if you do have a kid, don't blame me if they encourage thoughts of never sleeping in the same room as you if & after you read them this!
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Long long time ago, there was a cow. That cow was a big fat buffalo. That buffalo delivered an egg everyday. One day, the buffalo's eggs hatched and out came two beautiful ducklings!

These ducklings grew up to be strong and smart. After studies, they got a nice job as nice big elephants!

These elephants, since they were good boys, married within their caste- two beautiful ants! These elephants-ants couples were so loving and perfect that they finally gave birth to two cute penguins!

But one of the penguin- Piggy, was so naughty that he ran away from his family to Nicaragua. There he met his long-lost best friend- Tiger. The other penguin meanwhile, spent quality time with his cobra cousins, teaching them tricks and trades on how to hit those between the legs Tennis shots!

Piggy Penguin and Tiger, in the meantime, had a fall-out over their favourite lunch- the Rhino fry! Before Piggy could kill him, the Tiger eloped with Piggy's love- The Cockroach.

Heartbroken, Piggy finally thought of his family back home in the Sahara. He soon returned to his near and dear ones. But just as he thought all was well, he received a shocker. That his Elephant Pappa, whom he has been calling his pappa all these years, is not actually his pappa. It was in fact, it was in fact, Giraffe uncle, whom he always wondered why he has an uncanny resemblance to?!

With tears in his eyes, piggy hugged his old pappa elephant, yet, secretly happy that at least now he has a tall & handsome daddy and not a fatty!

An open letter to Anna Hazare & the Government of India

Dear Anna Hazare (& Team) & the Government of India,

I’d like to begin by thanking both of you for providing us some action-packed days!

While those of you at the government acted ever so stupidly (again) by arresting someone who has every right to protest, Annaji, your team has got the kind of mileage you needed. Those who were sitting on the fence are now tilted towards your side, Annaji, even as you were spending your day next to Kalmadiji. The government surely has its representatives all over the place, even in prison!

I am yet to figure out though, who among you guys are acting like total kids! In fact, you both are acting like spoilt brats throwing tantrums to get your toy!

I read the differences of opinions in both the drafts. Yes – the government draft is too weak. And yes – the Jan Lokpal is too powerful, to the point that it stops short of becoming the highest authority. But, why can’t you guys act like matured adults? You guys chose to make media your battle field. One press-conference after another where mud-slinging and aggressive words became the order of the day, with both the parties playing the game of one-upmanship! Just what my friends in the media were looking for.

While I know that some guys from both the teams can’t see each other eye-to-eye, yet if you are really serious about the country, keep your egos aside for some time and find a middle path. Sit across the table, and sort out the issue like dignified men! Sometimes, sirs, you got to sleep with your enemy to achieve the desired result. Even a certain Mr. Mahatma Gandhi (whose name has been used and abused and misused these days) had to compromise on certain things with the Britishers over the long struggle for freedom!

Dear Annaji, instead of opting to arm-twist via fasting-unto-death again, you could surely try to win friends from within the government by talking it over.

And my dear Government, just what on earth were you guys thinking? By default, no government in India is ‘popular’. In this day and age, it’s just ‘cool’ to criticize the government. And you gave them one genuine point by arresting somebody who had the support of the masses, and possibly a genuine reason too!

The concept of Lokpal is exciting! Only if it’s not too soft (Government’s version), nor too draconian (Jan Lokpal)! It ain’t easy, and it surely shouldn’t be done in haste. But it should be done! At least that guy whom I had to pay a bribe for my passport verification would now think twice. I hope.

Love,
A  fence-sitter (It’s much better here!)

Are we really free?

Are we really free when residential societies allow members of only their religion to their societies?

Are we really free when certain worship places are burnt down, while others-illegally built- stay put?

Are we really free when people speaking 'local' language get preferential treatment over others?

Are we really free when education is based majorly on your birth than merit?

Are we really free when on one hand, we support Anna's campaign and on the other hand compromise easily when it comes to our personal life?

Are we really free when Anna & Ramdev get more airspace and another genuine protestor who dies for the cause is taken notice only after his death?

Are we really free if protesting & armless farmers are shot dead?

Are we really free when at the name of freedom of speech, we can write crap about other communities and get away with it?

Are we really free when there are blasts every month in Assam and yet, it's only the one in 'major cities' that wakes the nation?

Are we really free when we can't click photographs of some really amazing places in Mumbai without the police coming into the picture?

Are we really free when some people are lesser equals than others?

Make no mistake. India is by far one of the best democracies & 'freest' nations in the world. But, are we really free?

First ever IPL State Derby: Another Pictorial

I’d thought the 15^th May 2011 experience at the stadium with my office colleagues could possibly be my last LIVE match for a long time to come, when my church friend Binoy messaged me on 19^th May and asked if I could be free to watch the game the next day. At that time, I didn’t even know who the Mumbai Indians were going to play. His sister Benzy had some free tickets and I was invited. There was no way that I was going to let go off this opportunity. 

This time, we were at the Garware Stand, Gate No. 2. This time, however, it would be all church friends together. We reached the game about a couple of overs late because of some miscommunication. We hadn’t missed much of the action though. Just as we entered, Sachin Tendulkar was taking a catch to send Pune Warriors’ Jesse Ryder back to the dug-out. 

Before we could even settle down, PWI had lost four. One of them being Tim Paine, seen here getting his bails knocked off by Munaf Patel. I consider this one a priceless shot, and to think that it was purely by chance. I’d thought the batsman was given out caught behind! But a careful look at the picture and you’d see that the bail is disturbed. 

Soon, skipper Yuvraj Singh was making his way back for a duck. Amidst the Mumbai Indians’ flags fluttering, he walked back dejectedly to the dug-out, seeing a defeat within the first six overs of the game. The bunch who’d got the free tickets, meanwhile, feared that the game might be over too soon for our liking.

The Pune dug-out wasn’t too far away from where we sat. And we were of course, the privileged few to have high-end tickets free to ourselves!

Robin Uthappa tried to resurrect the Pune inning, but found little support at the other end, as edges flew often from the bat, most of them, luckily in no man’s land.

Lasith Malinga could easily be the second most popular cricketer in Mumbai Indians. And with him standing at long-off, shouts of ‘Maa-lin-ga Maa-lin-ga’ echoed from our stands. When you’re in the crowd, you could say the most ridiculous things, like when I shouted something to the effect of – “Malinga, apna baal dikha na!” (Malinga, show us your hair!). And very soon, he was removing his hat. Of course, only to wipe the sweat I believe. 

Soon, Malinga was bowling and that slinging action just cannot be missed – no matter which part of the stand you are in!

When you’re this close to the ground and dug-out, you’re never too far away from the TV guys either. Shibani Dandekar was seen here interviewing Pune’s Fergusson. 

It’s fun to watch a player’s antics at the ground, something that you could miss while watching on TV. Malinga was seen adjusting his socks, even as the bowler was beginning his run-up. “Idhar catch aayega toh majaa aayega!” (Would be fun if they hit one here)

Strategic Time-out is one of the most irritating things while on TV, but to people at the stadium, it’s time to grab a bite, see what the players do etc. Pune didn’t have much to discuss with them tottering with more than half of their side back in the hut. Wonder what Geoff Marsh and Yuvi told the batsmen in the middle.

And for people like Binoy, Sajan and me, it was time to carry some memories home to show off. For me, this was coming here on my blog! The three of us look more tired than the players on the field though.

Pune soon folded out for 118. Time for interviews. Andrew Symonds with Brad Hodge. Shibani and Sameer Kochar (who looked bigger than he does on TV) seen here awaiting their turn.

And when you’re in a stand that’s on the higher side, you could bump into a few celebrities too like Sachin Khedekar, popular Marathi actor. Music Director Anu Malik also was around, but too quick for me to click a snap.

Wankhede looks awesome under floodlights. And they were just taking effect, slowly.

Mumbai lost opener Franklin early, but chasing 118 was never going to be difficult. Uthappa fielding at long-on seemed quite lonely.

Sachin and Rayudu were playing at a pace that was below-par for a T20 game, but on par for the current match. Binoy wanted the match to go to the last ball. Seemed highly unlikely. 

I seemed to be the only guy in that stand who knew Tommo’s real name – Alfonso Thomas. A ball before this snap, Tommo jumped high to save a certain six to restrict Rayudu to just one. Soon, Sachin went after the bowler, but the ball was safe in Tommo’s lap!

Sachin departed. In walked Rohit Sharma. Mumbai Indians’ batsmen hadn’t had much of a hit in the middle with Sachin and Rayudu doing most of the work in the previous games. Perfect time for Rohit to get some batting practice. 

Binoy desperately wanted a photograph with Sachin. He got his moment! 

Some tight bowling and some average batting by Mumbai meant that the game could well go to the last over. We never thought we would be seeing the flood-lights taking full-effect like it did.

The match was getting too close for my liking. My mom had already asked me the day before – “Are you going there to defeat Mumbai? Last time, you did so!”

With Symonds coming out to bat for the first time in the game, and Rohit Sharma playing it easy, this game would go to the final over!

Binoy got his second wish fulfilled. The match going to the last ball.

Murali Karthik, who had bowled a good over till that point, pitched his last one slightly short and outside the off, and Rohit quickly pounced on it and cleared it over the sweeper-cover boundary for MI’s first six, thus handing his team a seven-wicket win.

MI came out victorious in the first-ever state derby of IPL. I have a good feeling about this rivalry. Could well turn out to be a ‘match to watch out for’ in the future. As for me, I had witnessed another first at Wankhede!

Another perk that came with the free ticket, apart from some yummy free food, was that we were pretty close to the dressing room. And two of my favourite former South African players were within shouting distance here – Shaun Pollock and Jonty Rhodes. (So much so that my nephew is named after the latter)

The presentation ceremony was about to start, but to those close to the dressing room, that hardly mattered. We were calling out to any and every player. And Malinga obliged. Unfortunately, as Malinga chose and pick, I wasn’t the fortunate enough to get his autograph.

For some strange reason, I had a feeling, I could get Robin Uthappa’s attention. He was down in the ground getting his ‘Maximum Sixes Award’. On his way back, we had our moment when Robin responded with a smile when we shouted out ‘Praise the Lord, Robbie!’ Soon, he was kind enough to take the Mumbai Indians flag and sign on it. My day was made!

My first ever stadium experience: A Photo Story!

It was one of those ‘ideas’ that you just blurt out at the spur of the moment. So, as I was on a walk with my office friends- all of us still discussing the World Cup victory, sudden thought, which was perhaps a little too loud – “Why don’t we go for a game?” It didn’t take too long for the bunch to come back at their desk and book IPL tickets for the Mumbai Indians – Kochi Tuskers Kerala game.

Come 15th May 2011, we were on our way to the famous Wankhede Stadium, which a couple of weeks back had witnessed one of the most historic moments in Indian cricket. For us, we knew the Mumbai Indians was walking home easily with their easy wins in their first two matches, and Kochi’s below-par show in their first two. Before I bore you to death with this boring textual experience of the match, let these few pictures tell the tale.

Not surprisingly, the line to gate no. 4 was long, what with the six of us reaching past 7, yet well before the game.

I’ve never seen Wankhede in such close proximity. And after renovation, I am told that it had started looking even more gorgeous.

Did someone say IPL was losing out because of its proximity to the World Cup? Wankhede had other stories. And as we made past the 3-4 layers of security, to add a cliché, the decibels sure gave testimony to the excitement in the air.

What really got us going was the view we were going to get. At the second ‘cheapest’ available seats, this was possibly the best seats available. 

The ‘screaming’ was purely for the excitement of the seats that we got, which I must add, was purely by chance. I don't think we shouted any louder during the game. Few empty seats in the stand adjacent were soon going to be filled to capacity. What surprised me was the availability of MI flags on every seat.

Kochi, after winning the toss, asked Mumbai to bat. The decibels went a lot of notches higher when Sachin Tendulkar and Davy Jacobs walked out to the middle. For three of us in the group, we were seeing the legend for the first-ever time in person.

There’s no better sight in world cricket than a Tendulkar straight-drive and when he obliged in the very first over as he drove RP Singh past mid-off. The few Rupees that we had spent were now worth it. Soon though, there was a close shout for LBW. “Not out. Not out!” I declared. Umpire agreed. Seemed we both were wrong. I, of course, didn’t know about this till after the game.

As the game progressed, the stadium was in full capacity, cheering each of Sachin’s runs. One required to score of the last ball of the MI inning to reach his first ever century, Sachin calmly knocks it to long-off for a single, thus hitting his first ever 100 in a T20 game! The crowd just witnessed history and we already had a nice story to tell our children.

I might be a mallu, but I am a Mumbaikar first. And the way Kochi chased MI’s 182 down with Mahela Jayawardane’s silky smooth batting and Brendon McCullum’s blitzkrieg, we were left to be satisfied with Sachin’s master-class.

Yet, there were a lot of take-aways from what was my first-ever Stadium Experience. For one, seeing Sachin’s straight drive, followed by an array of shots, including his first ever helicopter shot, on his way to the first-ever T20 100. For another, Mahela’s inning made us feel that cricket is a very simple game. Very! And finally, this was also Kochi Tuskers Kerala’s first ever victory in the IPL. 

PS: Not much of KTK's inning was captured on camera, for much of the time, we were just too stunned with the shots and ease with which Mahela and McCullum took the game away from us!

The Predicament of a Mallu Girl...

Before I start this blog, for those who’d be chancing upon this blog for the first time, I am a mallu – and a proud one at that. Very importantly though for you to note is that, I ain’t a beautiful mallu babe, quite the contrary – I am an ugly pot-belly developing typical mallu guy who has that accent when he is told to pronounce ‘horse’. The ‘experiences’ mentioned in this post comes from the encounters that I’ve had with my female mallu friends.

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My name is Mercy (pronounced Mézhsee, the sound of ‘zh’ is a unique attribute of a mallu, so don’t try). I did my pre-degree (that’s 12^th/HSc in Mumbai) from Liddlle (Little) Flaaour (Flower) High School, afder (after) which I was made to wride (write) an endranss (entrance) for B Yus C Nezhsing (BSc Nursing). It was a madder (matter) of laif (life) and death. My paarends (parents) would scare me saying that if I didn’t pass, no good bois (boys) from Amerigga (America) will come to marry you. Now, that is a very big insendive (incentive) – not for me, but for my papa and mummy! Nezhsing (Nursing) wasn’t however their first choice. They wanted to mage (make) me a Dogtor (Doctor), but thank GOD that my brayins (brains) were not good enough to make me one!

So, indeed, I passed the endranss and my papa paid a few lags (lakhs) Rubees (rupees). Finally I was a Nezhsing student. I comblleted (completed) the degree with a good amound (amount) of success. After my 2 years of bond at that stupidd (stupid) HhOspotall (Hospital), I gave my I Yee Yell Tee Yus (IELTS) exam. But during that time, I got an obbortunity (opportunity) to go Gellf (Gulf). I yearned (earned) loadds (lots) of money by worging (working) in the Minisdry (Ministry) Hosbitall in Dubbei (Dubai). I sent back some money to my paarends in Gerella (Kerala). They are right now billding (building) a big bungllo (bungalow) type house back in Pattazhi Junction. We will have a sit-out where my sisters Plensy and Dincy can study in peace for their Nezhsing.

After I reach a (marri-yageabblle (marriageable) age, which agjually (actually) for Malayalee paarends start the momend we compleded Nezhsing, my reladives (relatives) from far and wide, whom I never knew existed and cared for me so much, will start bringing probosalls (proposals) for me from Yengineer (Engineer) Bois from Ameriga – the ultimade land of dreamss for many malayalees – so much so that some will trade heaven for Ameriga! Laif (life) is all about adjestments (adjustments), a wise mallu once said, and as my friends say, they are habby seeing their hubby once in a fortnight! For when their hubby walks home from office, they are already in hosbitall for their night shift and vice versa! Afder oll, It’s all about adjestments!

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Disclaimer: If the characters and facts mentioned in this blog has a resemblance to any mallu girl- living or dead- it’s purely ‘non-coincidental’ and has birthed from the fact the blogger is a mallu, who has encountered many of his friends and relatives going through this. However, none of my mallu friends have an accent like the one I mentioned above. A salute to all my nursing friends – and this ain’t sacrcasm, for I really cannot do what you guys are doing!)

Station Names in Mumbai

Growing up in Mumbai can make one get used to a lot of things – ‘names of stations’ would be one such thing. Until, that is, a new visitor to the city gives you those weird expressions when you take these names- expressions that would push Mr. Bean to the second spot. While these station-names have an interesting history behind them (at least a few of them do), a majority of them  are weird and funny! Let’s explore a few…

Diva Junction: Whoever named this station must have had a lot of hope. If this was the only station left on planet earth, you would still struggle to find a single ‘diva’ in Diva! A couple of years back, you would have been lucky to find a soul here, other than a couple of canines.

Andheri: The name is as ironic as the behaviour of the place. Andheri could possibly be the brightest part of Mumbai. From my weird logic, those who christened this station must have actually meant it for Diva. This could be a case like that of ‘The-Taj-Hotel-Architecture-goof-up’.

Badlapur: Roughly translated to ‘Revenge-town’. Need I say more?

Goregoan: This is one racist station!

Charni Road: You won’t find any mangers here. Not unless Christmas is around and Christians start making those tiny ones in the area.

Ambernath: Master of Brownish Yellow. More racism! And to say that Goregoan and Ambernath are at two different sides of the city, I cry conspiracy!

Ulhasnagar: Happy Town! Considering all the filth around in this town, people should be honoured with a President’s Medal merely for surviving there, let alone being happy!

Currey Road: Now this is one name that would fit to any Indian station.

Chinchpokli: ‘Chinch’ means tamarind in Marathi. But I am told there are no tamarind trees nearby. In Mumbai, consider yourself blessed if you find trees at all! (Ok, I am exaggerating here)

King’s Circle: This one’s for the royalty. I would love to live here, merely for the name it possesses.

Wadala: Sure.

Sandhurst Road: For some strange reason, many folks just can’t the pronunciation right for this one, thus, making it sound like... I think I'd leave it at that. 

And there are a few more. But I’ll stop at these, lest these begin to sound like a ‘force fit’.

9 ‘takeaways’ from World Cup 2011

As the dust settles on what has been a ‘living the dream’ moment for many Indian cricket buffs, life would slowly trudge back, until at least IPL-4 begins. Meanwhile, here are a few moments that caught my attention (as if it matters) from a World Cup, that many calls the best ever!

Sree’s ‘almost breakdown’: In WC’s opening match against Bangladesh, it wasn’t as much Sehwag’s inning that I remember than the hammering that Sreesanth got. In fact, more so, his reaction after the five wides that he gave away in an over that cost India 24 runs, which till half-way through the tournament was the most expensive over of the World Cup. He almost broke down while going back to his mark and did a good job at holding it back by wiping his face with his elbow. Guess, he reserved some of those for the Finals!

Hot n’ Cold Minnows: While the minnows in Group B gave the big teams, especially England, a good-scare, the ones in Group A seemed to justify ICC’s decision not to have them in the next World Cup. A few players from these lesser equals made a good name for themselves a la Ryan Ten Doeschate and Kevin O’Brien. While fans are still trying to get the pronunciation right for the former, the latter with his ‘I-care-a-hoot’ innings against England earned himself a nick name ‘The Big Kev’! That fearless performance by the Irish, leading them to create the record of the highest-ever chase in a World Cup, stood out for ICC to take note.

Consistently Inconsistent England: Undoubtedly, the team that provided the most exciting moments in the World Cup had to be England. A tie against India after almost successfully pulling up an impossible run-chase, closely-fought defeats against Ireland and Bangladesh and edge-of-the-seat-wins against Netherlands, South Africa and West Indies, all of their first round matches had their fans pulse-rate racing ahead to weird proportions. Their campaign ended with an anti-climax of sorts when Sri Lanka thrashed them in the Quarter Finals. This tournament owes much to England for all that excitement!

The Kiwi Blitzkrieg: Pakistan must have been looking forward to chasing a target of not more than 240 in their league match against the Kiwis when they were struck by the ‘Ross Storm’. Read this – 175/5 in 42 overs; and 210/6 in 46 overs. You’d have virtually missed the whole match (I did) if you missed the four overs that came after! Shoaib concedes 28 off one over, making it the most expensive over of the World Cup. That record doesn’t stand long. An over later, Abdul Razzaq concedes 30. And he does a Sree, and does well not to break down! 92 runs in 25 balls. Carnage! This game, unfortunately though, would be remembered more for Kamran Akmal’s skills or the lack of it behind the wicket than for Ross Taylor’s explosion. Akmal became the latest topic for SMS jokes!

India Dropped: Pakistan’s generosity in the field didn’t end with the New Zealand game. Not once, not twice, but four times was Sachin dropped enroute to his 85 during the much hyped Semi Final between the two arch-rivals. Fielding turned out to be the difference between the two sides as Pakistan lost way during the chase. Afridi’s post-match comments got him a lot of Indian fans, only for him to have thrown it all away in his sore interview to a Pakistani channel.

Slow Seniors: Apart from the Little Master and the Lankans, no senior batsman really got going. Especially noteworthy were the performances by the West Indians Ramnaresh Sarwan and Shivnaraine Chanderpaul and Pakistanis Younis Khan and Misbah-ul-Haq. These otherwise-talented batsmen just couldn’t get the ball off the square when it mattered and turned out to be liability for their teams.

Chokers Choked Again: New World Cup. New Knock-out. Same old story. South Africans, before the start of the world cup, tried hard vocally to shed the age-old ‘tag’ that they carry with them. Skipper Graeme Smith and Jacques Kallis were particularly vocal about this. But sadly, they couldn’t manage to translate that on to the field, as twice, we saw the famous South African collapse – against England and New Zealand – the latter knocking them off the tournament yet again in the knock-out stage.

Sidhu Never Stops: Every analyst who sat opposite Navjot Singh Sidhu must be commended. All of them kept their emotions under check, at least on air! One look at the likes of Sourav Ganguly, who turned out to be a brilliant analyst, and you won’t be faulted for thinking that he might swing his arm across the table in the direction of Sidhu. Simon Hughes, an Englishman, was relieved that Semi Final was his last working day with ESPN-Star (read Sidhu). When someone says, “Look at your hair man. You have gone bald. You have lost your hair!” on your face, it ain’t funny. Not one bit. The sweet victories by India against Australia, Pakistan and Sri Lanka were made sour by watching this gentleman. He would have been bearable if he at least stood by what he said. His opinions about the Indian team and certain matters kept changing match-by-match. Watching him is a lesson in patience. Sitting next to him is an entire education in that.

Captain Cool: This guy goes by instinct. Be it picking Chawla and Sreesanth ahead of Ashwin, which backfired every time or sending himself ahead of in-form Yuvraj in the final. MSD just backs himself. And it paid off in the final. That six to seal India’s World Cup win after 28 years will remain etched in the minds of all Indian cricket fans. But the moment that was worth watching was when Dhoni let emotions overtake him finally after the victory! Scenes of India’s ‘strong men’ a la Yuvraj, Bhajji and Sachin in tears won’t be forgotten too quickly.


PS: Sure, there were many more moments, but then, not everyone would read even to this point! :)

Newspapers after the euphoria…

It is indeed slowly sinking in… even for a normal Indian cricket fan, if I may call myself one! I expected the hype and hoopla to carry forward occupying TV space through the week, and the media, so far, has not disappointed. And to be honest, I don’t mind. We’ve had enough of 2Gs, Rajas, Radias, Kalmadis Wikileaks, etc. For a country that was craving for some bit of positive news after all of the above, a bunch of 15 men and their support staff couldn’t have timed it better!

The day after India won the first ever World T20 in South Africa defeating Pakistan, I was so excited that I bought almost all English Newspapers home. Read it here.

And I wasn’t going to miss doing that after India went one ahead and brought home (or kept home) the ‘original World Cup’ after 28 years. After all, the next generation has already missed history and I can proudly tell them – “I was there!”

Here are the headlines and my thoughts (purely from a reader’s and a fake-journo’s perspective) of leading Mumbai dailies that came out the following morning:

THE WORLD AT OUR FEET

- The Sunday Times of India

Although I am not a big fan of the ToI’s reporting, their headlines have often impressed me. And this one’s no different. Compared to some of the others, this one’s more creative.

CHAMPIONS

- The Hindustan Times

The HT overlaid this headline on a half-page photograph of the jubilant Indian team after receiving the trophy. Although the headline in itself isn’t creative, the layout (I believe this is HT’s forte) makes it exciting and thus, to the point! HT, however, has done a brilliant job in getting columns out of Ian Chappell and Pradeep Magazine – something that they can claim exclusivity for!

WINDIA
World Champions, 2011

- The Indian Express

IE has carried a full page photograph with no report. However, this daily is the only newspaper to carry two mast heads and two front pages, with the second ‘front page’ carrying the headline – ‘The World in a Cup’. According to me, both headlines lack imagination, yet the full page photograph captures the moment well!

WE RULE

- DNA

Three-fourth of the page is occupied by a photograph of Sachin being carried on Yusuf Pathan’s shoulder. Somehow, both the heading and the photograph didn’t quite create the same kind of impact in me.

A CUP FOR THE MASTER

- The Free Press Journal

Layout was never FPJ’s strength and that remains a constant. Although the headline is in a font that’s hard to read, it still is ‘out-of-the-box’!

Sare Jahan Se Acha

- The Asian Age

The headline and layout lacks the kind of punch that would be desired of the morning after a World Cup win. The Asian Age carries the same photograph of Sachin on his team-mate’s shoulder.

THANK YOU!
- The Mumbai Mirror

Although Mumbai Mirror wouldn’t (and shouldn’t) fall under the category of a morning newspaper, the broadloid needs a mention for what it brought out post the victory. Kunal Pradhan’s article is brilliant. And the headline ‘Thank you!’ with the victorious Indian team’s photograph, according to me, was the best coverage of the lot!

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Having said all that, my thoughts with the journalists who actually sat down post the victory after watching the game - some of them in the stadium, some of them at their office desks- having to type away when the world outside was making merry in the streets. For them, it was a race to finish an error-free copy before the dreaded deadline. Their celebrations had to wait. Readers, like me, were waiting for them. 

A challenge...

“Take this challenge, Bless. The boundary is 80 yards to your leg-side. Clear it!”

“Ok.”

It took a few wickets for him to hold the bat. Somehow the burden seemed lighter to him. Not of the bat. But within his head.

Few moments ago, when he had nothing to achieve, he made efforts to play himself in, and try out some technically correct shots. Apparently, when a left-handed cover-drives, it’s pure bliss to those watching minus the bowler. But now, it was no longer a normal ‘number-number-12-balls-a-batsman’ format. It was what everyone in Mumbai calls ‘touch-n-go.’ So, the moment, the ball hits the bat, you gotta run. Putting both you and more so, your non-striker at risk of running out.

Yet, to ‘touch and go’ seemed to be the last minute on his mind. Before he took guard, he eyed the leg side. Saw the fielders. He had to clear them. By a long margin. “Remember the challenge, Bless?” Vijesh made it a point to remind him. He just nodded.

Very unlike him, he charged at the very first delivery he got. Connected it beautifully. On the off-side. What would be a beautifully timed boundary didn’t please him. His challenge was still incomplete.

A full toss outside the off stump. He stretched to swing, but nowhere close to the ball! He looked at Vijesh. Both exchange a smile. The latter’s smile had a question. “You’re going for it, aren’t you?”

A short delivery. Thumped. In the air for a fair while, but bounces well short of the eighty yards, as it hit the concrete steps.

Low full-toss. This time on the leg-stump. It’s slammed with disdain. Vijesh had already gone to retrieve the previous ball, when this one was coming straight at him. But much to the batsman’s relief, he doesn’t pick up the shout by the fielders. The ball bounces in front and over him. Another boundary.

Again he comes charging. Plays the ball on the full. Smashes it again. That’s towards the long-on fielder. He judges it. Absolutely imperfectly. He survives. Ball crosses the boundary bouncing a few times over.

Again a short ball. Asking to be hit. He does. Vijesh has placed himself deep. But this goes over his head. Again, poorly judged. The ball bounces in front of the concrete steps. The challenge stays.

Half-volley. Thonked straight down over the head of the bowler. Beats everyone. “Well-played!” says the ‘keeper. Four again. Challenge stays.

On the off. Thumps this one to point for four. Challenge begins to fade.

Meanwhile, at the other end, his partners are running out. Including Vijesh. For all it’s worth, he might end up not achieving the target, without getting out.

Another delivery on the legs. Gives himself a little bit of room and smashes it out of his sight. This one seems to be soaring. “Go go go!” Vijesh looks in anticipation. The challenge might just be achieved. 80 yards! From a tennis ball.

“YES!”


“Is everything ok, Bless?” his mom asks him. He opens his eyes. Wipes them. It’s time to brush the teeth and head for another long day in office!


PS: The last three paragraphs are born out of my imagination. Neither did I achieve the challenge, nor did I dream about it. See, basically, I was bored and had nothing better to do than write this. And you obviously had nothing better to do than read this.

Why Associate Nations playing only the World Cup make no sense?

10 wickets; 210 runs; 205 runs; 175 runs; 215 runs; 9 wickets; 231 runs; 131 runs.

For those following the ICC World Cup 2011, the numbers above may not look too weird. These are the margins of defeat involving an ICC associate nation team. A few years ago, losing by such a margin was considered an absolute shame. Remember, India held the World Record for the largest margin of defeat in terms of runs (202 against England in the 1975 World Cup, thanks to Sunny Gavaskar’s famous 36 runs from 174 balls) – a record that stayed for almost 12 years!

This world cup (and the previous one) has proven that a top test playing nation can fancy breaking a few records against these hapless lesser fancied teams, unless of course, you are India or England!

I have nothing against the lesser cricketing nations playing the World Cup. My problem is the frequency at which they play. One can’t expect a Canada or a Holland to improve after playing just once in four years against the top sides. A classic example is that of the Kenyan side. World Cup semi-finalists in 2003 and now, three of the above eight numbers are against the African side. After the 2003 World Cup, Kenyans played just one quadrangular tournament and two matches in the Champions Trophy in three years! Imagine a World Cup Semi-finalist being treated like that, although the political unrest and match-fixing can be partly blamed for this! Between 2005 and 2007, the only ‘test playing nations’ that they played against was Bangladesh and Zimbabwe – definitely not the kind of teams you’d put in the top bracket. This team failed to even qualify for the World Twenty20, after nine months of absolutely no international cricket in 2008.

So here’s the point – you can’t throw an injured pigeon among the tigers, and expect it to come out unscathed! First, give them wings. Teach them to fly. (Am I sounding Siddhuish here?) For the game to develop in these regions, let these cricketers, and most of them really talented ones, meet the more fancied nations more frequently. Organise tri-nation and quadrangular events, inviting these associate nations as one of the teams. It would also do a world of good to these lesser countries if they are made to host with some financial assistance from the richer boards participating.

A case in point is Ireland hosting India and South Africa in Dublin in 2007. Although this wasn’t a triangular series, it still drew a good response from the local crowd. Irish team has won a lot of fans in the current edition of the World Cup, and was easily the best among the lesser equals. Obviously, that has something to do with their exposure to playing against the top test nations.

Sure, some of these matches in the tri-series/quadrangulars would be boring and one-sided. But then, at least, the World Cup matches won’t be! Hopefully. Besides, an upset in a tri-series/quadrangular would open the tournament wide open. Also, for players on an individual level, these would do a world of good. They can market themselves by performing against a top-side, and won’t have to wait for that once-in-four-years opportunity!

Imagine, what if the IPL world had seen a Kevin O’ Brien blitzkrieg much before the IPL-4 bidding? Imagine, what if Holland’s Pieter Seelar’s and Canada’s Hiral Patel’s skills had got noticed by the Mallyas and Ambanis? These guys would suddenly be living their dream by sharing the same dressing room with the likes of Sachin Tendulkar and Shane Warne!

Time to re-think. Maybe.

When India wins the World Cup…

Times Now: Times Now Impact: India Wins World Cup after 28 years
AG: Your channel can now confirm that India has indeed won the World Cup. Remember, we were the first ones to break the story on February 19, 2011, that Dhoni’s men has won the World Cup and this result just goes on to show that we were right. This is a historic moment. A very historic moment. Your channel dug deep into the future to tell you even before Zaheer Khan bowled that first ball against Bangladesh, that India HAS won the world cup! To discuss this historic moment with us, we have with us 16 guests tonight…

Listening to the first three names in the panel would be enough to let you know it’s time to switch to another channel before they open their mouths!
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Aaj Tak: Sachin ka armaan poora. Dhoni ke sheron ke pachaad diya duniya ko. Kar di duniya mutthi mein. Rach liya ithihaas ek baar phir Bharat. Kar diya Jaadu Zaheer ne. Sreesanth aur Bhajji phir bane dost!

When you see super-texts like these appearing one after the other in super-huge fonts with a bombastic sound-effect, why would you bother listening to the anchors and an ex-cricketer? Time to switch…
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India TV: Jashn ke beech sanaata aur maayusi. Kaun sunega inn becharon ki awaaz? Dhoni ke sixer ne lee ek maasum kabutar ki jaan. Saare kabutar nirash. Poore Bhaarat ke khushi ke beech kabutaron ka dard!
Repeated visuals of Dhoni hitting a six with a circular graphic zoomed in on the ball flying out of the stadium. ‘Yahee tha who khaufiya darinda shot jisne lee ek maasum kabutar ki jaan! Kya Dhoni denge iska jawaab?'

Jeez, I will break down if I watch more of this. Time to switch...
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Star News: Kya Tulsi Virani apne pothe ka icha poori karegi? Kya hoga Rahul ki shaadi Pooja se. Dekhiye Break ke baad…

Jeez, these guys sure have their priorities right!